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Noodle Implements: The Game

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greek freak

Noodle Implements: The Game

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Posts: 1452

Nov 25 10 7:38 AM

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Well, this game goes something like this:

Test Subject Three Eighty: You are trapped in the Sahara Desert, and you have no idea where you are in the desert. What do you need to get out?
Test Subject Five Thousand And One: A can of cheese spray, two gallons of gasoline, a sugar rush, twelve days, an army of rabid squirrels, and Professor Quirrel.

You just post a random situation, and the next poster says what they would need to get out, no matter how nonsensical or impossible it is. And so we go:

You are going to be devoured by cannibals tomorrow at dawn, and you only have three more hours until then. You can only use items on the island or that you have packed with you. What are these items?

I am an artist, although a pathetic one. Check out my fakemon, Zelda, Harry Potter, and other types of art on my dA profile, found here: http://euclidofthexenons.deviantart.com/

I read for fun and entertainment, not because I have to. When bored, I flip through a dictionary. I hope to write a 300+ page novel one day, and have gathered several ideas.

I play Pokemon for fun and for inspiration. Not to trade with unfamiliar people or battle them over the Internet.

Celebrate, ~~peasant,~~ as the ~~beginning~~ end of my ~~pathetic~~ epic post has been ~~started~~ reached.

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Coolsteph

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Suggestions Board Regular

Posts: 1553

Nov 25 10 8:49 AM

Syrup of ipeac, which was in the medical kit I packed with me. It is inevitable that I will be devoured by cannibals, but it is not inevitable that I will perish from being devoured by them. By coating my body with syrup of ipeac, they will be induced into regurgitating me, with hope, whole. If that does not work, although it is highly unlikely it will not, I will use a feather to tickle their stomachs from the inside, and a copious amount of carbonated soda that I also brought with me to encapsulate myself in a bubble and be burped the Magic School Bus style. (copious, because not being quite small I would need a rather large bubble.)

Your hair is going to be given a buzz cut two days from now by demented ghostly homing pigeon-people that can track you wherever you are. When your hair is cut, you are quite wimpy, so by that time it would be impossible to physically empower them, and they will peck your flesh and also eat your liver. You can only use items you can find in your house. Which items do you use to avoid your liver being eaten?

Sableye, Lvl. 9 (approx.) (male)

Tiquail, Lvl. 7 (female)

Normgon, Lvl. 6 (female)

Sunny (Sunkern) Lvl. 7 (female)

Grubva, Lvl. 7 (male)

Dark Ariados is released.

Most recent battle: Against a Grubva

Last Edited By: Coolsteph Nov 25 10 8:52 AM. Edited 1 times.

Flarsable

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Suggestions Board Regular

Posts: 8827

Nov 25 10 9:45 AM

I kill them with the machine gun I keep in my room in case of an emergency. And if the ghostly in their names makes then intangible, I will simply use my household vacuum.

A time nuke is set to go off in about three hours. It is also touch-sensitive, so contact of any kind detonates it. How do you defuse it?

Award for Extreme Patience
Always hotter than the competition. I got the award for Braving the Marquee of Doom!

Last Edited By: Flarsable Nov 25 10 9:48 AM. Edited 2 times.

Coolsteph

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Suggestions Board Regular

Posts: 1553

Nov 25 10 10:02 AM

No item limit?

I carefully construct a miniature nuclear shelter, in inverse, around the time nuke, making sure not to touch it. The inverse nuclear shelter, instead of protecting the inside from nuclear attack, protects the outside from detonation. Radiation damage outside the shelter is negligible.

You are trapped inside a kitchen by a force field, impossible to pierce, break, or neutralize or shut off, that can only be appeased and let you out when given ramen noodles. The problem is you have none, and need to go to the bathroom in twenty minutes. How can you make ramen noodles or something significantly like ramen within the span of twenty minutes?

Sableye, Lvl. 9 (approx.) (male)

Tiquail, Lvl. 7 (female)

Normgon, Lvl. 6 (female)

Sunny (Sunkern) Lvl. 7 (female)

Grubva, Lvl. 7 (male)

Dark Ariados is released.

Most recent battle: Against a Grubva

Void

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Suggestions Board Regular

Posts: 586

Nov 25 10 12:19 PM

I make spaghetti, cut each noodle into small pieces, put the improvised ramen in water, add various seasonings, and attempt to trick the force field.

The President/Queen/King/leader of your country has been abducted by a rival government. The leader will be liquefied and turned into gelatin unless you find a way to thwart the rival government using the following: a pair of defective headphones, a paperclip, a box of matches, 3 rubber bands, and an Easy-Bake oven. What do you do?

greek freak

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Suggestions Board Regular

Posts: 1452

Nov 25 10 1:33 PM

I sneak into the rival government's headquarters by threatening the guards with a flamethrower made from a match and one of the rubber bands. After firing, they run in fear, and the gate, which for whatever reason is made of the easily flammable wood, burns down. I then infiltrate the headquarters, and purposely run into a guard. I dispatch of him with a quick punch to the super-sensitive nerves on his neck. I then strip him of his uniform and dispose of the unconcious body, now wearing the uniform. I put on the defective headphones and beat my head as if listening to music. A cook sent to buy supplies who passes me questions my supposed music-listening, and goes to warn the higher-ups. However, I dispatch the same way I did to the guard previously. After putting on the cook's clothing, I locate the kitchen. Nobody else is in there, so I sabotage the ovens. After the other cooks arrive, they scream at finding out that they can not cook the food for the bosses. I take out the toy Easy-Bake oven and place a cold turkey in it when no one is looking. I light a match and put it in with the turkey. After the food is done, when another cook offers to take it, I scream at him, saying how it was shameful that nobody else would help me cook. I then take the turkey to the boss room, and serve it. I see that in a back closet the President is tied in there. When the happily eating bosses and elites finish, tired and lazy from the meal, I sneak into the closet, and untie the President. I then place the remaining eighteen matches in the and take a rubber band and the paperclip, and shoot the paper clip onto the matches with the rubber band from twenty feet away. After me and the President are in the hallway, I retie the President's wrists behind his back with the remaining rubber band to not rais suspicion. We then run away from the burning headquarters.

You find that your entire family has been violently murdered. After tracking down the man who killed them, you decide to take revenge. However, you do not want to kill the man or get him sent to jail. So, you have to get sufficient payback to the murderer using only common household items, except any extremely dangerous things (i.e. Guns, knives).

I am an artist, although a pathetic one. Check out my fakemon, Zelda, Harry Potter, and other types of art on my dA profile, found here: http://euclidofthexenons.deviantart.com/

I read for fun and entertainment, not because I have to. When bored, I flip through a dictionary. I hope to write a 300+ page novel one day, and have gathered several ideas.

I play Pokemon for fun and for inspiration. Not to trade with unfamiliar people or battle them over the Internet.

Celebrate, ~~peasant,~~ as the ~~beginning~~ end of my ~~pathetic~~ epic post has been ~~started~~ reached.

Coolsteph

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Suggestions Board Regular

Posts: 1553

Nov 25 10 1:35 PM

I heat the paperclip to dangerous temperatures with the Easy-Bake Oven and light the toilet paper and tissues of their governmental offices on fire, meaning all the janitors have to leave and purchase more toilet or tissue paper. Once the paperclip has fulfilled its purpose, I extinguish it. With all the janitors gone, I easily replace one of them and sneak closer to the rival leader's room, re-igniting the paperclip with the Easy-Bake oven. With the paperclip dangerously hot, I insert it neatly into the defective headphones. Then I approach them with the defective headphones, claiming that it will teach them exotic languages that will be useful for communicating with other countries' leaders. The leader cannot resist the practicality of the offer and places them on, and I walk behind them and fasten the headphones firmly onto their ears with the rubber bands. The hot paperclip starts to singe their ears, and I start burning a few governmental documents/scorching some silicon chips of their leader-ly computers with the matches, simply to show I mean business, and stop once the other leader agrees with my request to free my own leader. They are prevented from moving using some duct tape found in janitorial compartments. (you said I needed to use specific items, not that I could use only the specific items.) Once the rival leader agrees to free my own leader, I desist in burning further documents/silicon chips and leave using a shortcut through the Underworld of the Janitors, which I have access to due to my disguise.

Everyone (fifteen people) is dancing around in the school cafeteria with colanders on their head. It is driving you insane because they distract you from reading, and you do not know why they are acting so obnoxious or whether they can be cured. All the doors are locked and you do not have any keys. You must escape to a quiet place where you can read using only items able to found in the school cafeteria, such as but not limited to sporks, napkins, ladles, plastic bags and refrigerators. (Using the aforementioned items is not required, they are simply listed to give an idea of what you can use.)

EDIT: Greek Freak posted before I typed all of my message.

Sableye, Lvl. 9 (approx.) (male)

Tiquail, Lvl. 7 (female)

Normgon, Lvl. 6 (female)

Sunny (Sunkern) Lvl. 7 (female)

Grubva, Lvl. 7 (male)

Dark Ariados is released.

Most recent battle: Against a Grubva

Last Edited By: Coolsteph Nov 25 10 1:37 PM. Edited 1 times.

Flarsable

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Suggestions Board Regular

Posts: 8827

Nov 25 10 2:19 PM

GF's:
I make a delicious-looking meal that's been poisoned by a special mixture with salmonella in it that I learned in chemistry which serves as a knockout material that doesn't do too major damage. I tell him that I fear him and give him the meal saying that I want peace.
Steph's:
Nice way:
I take pizza which is served everyday in the cafeteria and distract them all with it. I tell them they will get it if they stop dancing like retarded idiots and they obediently do so.
Not-so-nice way:
I take knives from the kitchen and brutally and violently kill them all. This way the cafeteria is a quiet place.

You are stranded on an island in an uncharted desert with only five items that you brought with you. What are your five items and how will you use them to escape the desert?

Award for Extreme Patience
Always hotter than the competition. I got the award for Braving the Marquee of Doom!

Last Edited By: Flarsable Nov 25 10 2:21 PM. Edited 1 times.

greek freak

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Suggestions Board Regular

Posts: 1452

Nov 25 10 2:39 PM

I brought a pair of knitting needles, a bag of peanuts, bubblegum, a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser, and spare underwear.

I use the knitting needles to use the divining rod technique to locate water. I dig in the dirt, once I have found the water, with my bare hands and reach a near-dry underground water pocket. I plunge my hands in it and drink from the water. After refreshing myself, I continue my search. I then run into a man with a broken leg and sprained wrist. He begs for water, so I run back to the spring, relocating it with the needles. I pull out my spare underwear, tying it into a makeshift bag. I pull it through the water, gathering around a pint of water. He bring it back to the man, who drinks it quickly. Then, I tie the wet underwear around his leg and give him the peanuts to eat and recuperate. After the incident is over, the man, supported by me, leads me back to his home. He goes inside, and thanks me. He asks me a favor, to clean his house. I use the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser to clean his hovel. He then tells me he can drive me back, out of the desert with his truck. However, the truck has sprung several leaks, so I bring out my bubblegum, and chew it. Once the gum is sticky and durable, I fix the leaks with the gum. The man thanks me yet again and drives me out of the desert.

You have to entertain a group of thirty-five children under the age of eight for two hours using only tape, a mattress, a candle that lasts for exactly twelve seconds, a wig, two pears, unpopped popcorn that you can not pop for whatever reason, and three-year old solidified maple syrup.

I am an artist, although a pathetic one. Check out my fakemon, Zelda, Harry Potter, and other types of art on my dA profile, found here: http://euclidofthexenons.deviantart.com/

I read for fun and entertainment, not because I have to. When bored, I flip through a dictionary. I hope to write a 300+ page novel one day, and have gathered several ideas.

I play Pokemon for fun and for inspiration. Not to trade with unfamiliar people or battle them over the Internet.

Celebrate, ~~peasant,~~ as the ~~beginning~~ end of my ~~pathetic~~ epic post has been ~~started~~ reached.

Coolsteph

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Suggestions Board Regular

Posts: 1553

Nov 25 10 2:50 PM

I tie myself to the mattress with the tape and cajole the children into jumping on me. Painful, but it works. Then, using the candle that lasts for exactly twelve seconds, I set myself on fire (you said only the candle lasted for only twelve seconds, not the flame that starts on it) then, with my flaming body, liquefy the solidified maple syrup and extinguish myself. I then enact a puppet show using the two pears as characters, with the wig as a prop. Afterward I establish the unpopped popcorn as a currency among the children, and within the span of thirty-five minutes they viciously guard the currency and punish thieves.

You have to learn pre-calculus. The problem is you are not mathematically inclined and are trapped in a land of sweets, rainbows, and flowers, with a periodical harvester being that feeds on the saccharine 'cuteness' emitted by the inhabitants. You have to teach yourself lessons using only items and situations found in this world.

Sableye, Lvl. 9 (approx.) (male)

Tiquail, Lvl. 7 (female)

Normgon, Lvl. 6 (female)

Sunny (Sunkern) Lvl. 7 (female)

Grubva, Lvl. 7 (male)

Dark Ariados is released.

Most recent battle: Against a Grubva

PielordDx

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Suggestions Board Regular

Posts: 1437

Nov 28 10 10:27 PM

I record the land of cuteness with my video camara and play it whenever someone asks me to do pre-calculus.

You have three minutes to get to the end of a hallway guarded by everyone who has posted in this topic so far however many times they posted. You can only use one item to defeat each user, think of their weaknesses, and no actual weapons. Cuz' that be would be mean. You can only use each item once.

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Dr Nog

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Suggestions Board Regular

Posts: 503

Nov 29 10 5:07 PM

beetle gun for cool steph, pie distraction for pielord, water hose for flars, and fullness for void. then i get the win at the end of the hallway

you have 2 minutes before millions of zombiesare within flesh eating distance, there is a road with zombies pouring through and stairs to teh roof.

RAINBOW PWN

Flarsable

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Suggestions Board Regular

Posts: 8827

Nov 29 10 8:16 PM

I simply use zombie pesticide on my entire body so that I am just finished spraying it when the zombies arrive. Every single one of them instantly gets killed by the pesticide, and I walk the road killing all zombies in my way and reach the roof. I could also cover myself in a Pumpkin and put Tall Nuts all around me and make an army of plants to kill them all, but I wouldn't have enough Sun to plant them all and it would take too long to gather enough sun, plus it would take forever to make a path out when I'm done.

You have to kill some zombie robots and all you have is a Sketch Pad.

Award for Extreme Patience
Always hotter than the competition. I got the award for Braving the Marquee of Doom!

Coolsteph

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Suggestions Board Regular

Posts: 1553

Nov 29 10 9:34 PM

(Why would a beetle gun be my weakness? Earth element is my weakness.)
With this sketch pad, I fold a thousand paper cranes. (they are tiny.) By folding a thousand paper cranes, I then am granted a wish, my wish being that the zombie robots would all become kindly toasters.

Using only bunches of cuddly parasitic animals (parasitic wasps, mites, nematodes, and such), you must make sure Harry Potter does not sleep when in the grove with Lord Voldemort.

Sableye, Lvl. 9 (approx.) (male)

Tiquail, Lvl. 7 (female)

Normgon, Lvl. 6 (female)

Sunny (Sunkern) Lvl. 7 (female)

Grubva, Lvl. 7 (male)

Dark Ariados is released.

Most recent battle: Against a Grubva

greek freak

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Suggestions Board Regular

Posts: 1452

Dec 15 10 1:59 PM

I grab the wasps and set them to building nests around the grove before Harry can reach it. However, he avoids them, so I set the mites on him, which jump around, distracting him from sleeping. He does manage to fall asleep, so I wake him up by squirting the blood from a quenched leech at him, and alert him about Lord Voldemort, who he promptly destroys by sending hordes of parisites on him (Of course, provided that he has already destroyed all the Horcruxes)

You must manage to make a succesful, energy saving vehicle out of objects you could find in a normal house, including humans, pets, food, and all objects.

I am an artist, although a pathetic one. Check out my fakemon, Zelda, Harry Potter, and other types of art on my dA profile, found here: http://euclidofthexenons.deviantart.com/

I read for fun and entertainment, not because I have to. When bored, I flip through a dictionary. I hope to write a 300+ page novel one day, and have gathered several ideas.

I play Pokemon for fun and for inspiration. Not to trade with unfamiliar people or battle them over the Internet.

Celebrate, ~~peasant,~~ as the ~~beginning~~ end of my ~~pathetic~~ epic post has been ~~started~~ reached.

Flarsable

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Suggestions Board Regular

Posts: 8827

Dec 15 10 6:51 PM

Pets?

I take my dad's toolbox and car and modify it so that it runs on hamster power, that being that the hamster will run in a ball to power it. When the car is powered, the hamster gets injected with a weird needle that injects it with nutrients it needs so that it won't get tired and stop. Of course, to make sure the hamster stops, turning the car off locks the wheel and removes the needle.

Using only generic holiday gifts, you must successfully stop Santa's rabid chaotic reindeer that are holding menorah pitchforks form destroying your house.

Award for Extreme Patience
Always hotter than the competition. I got the award for Braving the Marquee of Doom!

Void

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Suggestions Board Regular

Posts: 586

Dec 17 10 1:50 PM

I use various sweaters to make a long rope/lasso thing and yank the reindeer down to earth. I then use a winter hat to cover Rudolph's nose, severely limiting vision for the reindeer. Then, I undo the sweater lasso, extinguishing each menorah pitchfork and muzzling the reindeer to prevent transition of rabies.

Using only items in your average convenience store, you must defeat an entire clan of ninjas (a clan being between 5 and 8 ninjas).

oran5777

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Suggestions Board Regular

Posts: 790

Jun 7 11 8:13 PM

I take the gumball machine in the corner and dump it out, then I take a few hoses and tie them to the shelves in between the aisles, when the ninja's run to attack me they trip on the gumballs and get catapulted back at the doors that only open inwards by the hoses, knocking them all out.

using only items you would find in a normal office supply store, you must keep a gigantic meteor from hitting earth and causing the apocalypse.

Void

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Suggestions Board Regular

Posts: 586

Jun 8 11 8:03 AM

It's about time someone revived this.

Anyhow:

I disassemble the various copy machines around the store and use the parts to build a comically oversized catapult. Once the meteor is within sight, I cut the makeshift rope with scissors, launching a ball of staplers and rubber bands towards the meteor at high speeds, destroying it.

You are locked in a walk-in freezer with a time bomb set to go off in exactly ten minutes. Using the food items in the freezer, escape before the bomb goes off.

oran5777

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Suggestions Board Regular

Posts: 790

Jun 9 11 5:56 AM

I eat ice cream, which takes 1 minute then I put the bomb in the container for the ice cream and having thus cushioned the explosion a bit I now get lots of bigger containers from other ice cream and cushion the bomb a bit more, then I make a circular saw out of popsicle sticks powered by lemon flavor popsicles and saw through the doors lock, then I jump out and brace myself against the door as the bomb explodes, melting all the icecream that was cushioning it and causing container shrapnel to stick into the walls.

you are locked in a china factory with 20 bulls, you are wearing all red and the place is being video taped, you must somehow escape using only a rubber band as many cups bowls and mugs as you desire, and a doggy chew toy.

empireomega

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Posts: 1682

Jun 9 11 12:22 PM

Bulls are not angered by red, but by movement. Being as motionless as possible, I use the rubber band as a slingshot to shoot mugs and bowls on the lens of all the cameras so they can't see. I throw the chew toy to the door, causing all the bulls to charge towards it, breaking it down, allowing me to slip out.

You are being held at gunpoint in the corner of an abandoned warehouse by a sentient epileptic mastermind squirrel. It is about midnight. There is no one for miles around (except the squirrel, obviously). You have a mirror, two metal spoons, half-melted strawberry ice cream, and a wire that plugs into itself. Use all of the items to assist in your escape.

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Noodle Implements: The Game

Noodle Implements: The Game