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Ocean Queen Pokemon

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Apricot0194

Ocean Queen Pokemon

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Suggestions Board Regular

Posts: 57

Jul 1 10 11:33 AM

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I edited it due to the changes she's undergone:

Name: Aqueen (Aqua + Queen)
Pokédex Type: Ocean Queen Pokemon
Height, Weight: 1 foot, 9 pounds
Element Type: Water
Description/Appearance:
Pokédex Data: Born from pure water, Aqueen are known to have the ability to cause floods and heavy rains. Aqueen like to hide in the coral reefs of the ocean shore and surprise people for fun.
Evolution: None
Special Ability: Water absorb
Moves:
Start- Bubble
Start- Tackle
Level 4- Watergun
Level 8- Bubble beam
Level 16- Water Sport
Level 20- Rain dance
Level 26- Gyro Ball
Level 34- Dive
Level 40- Surf
Level 43- Protect
Level 45- Hydro pump
Level 49- Waterfall
Gender Ratio: Male 0% Female 100%
Gender Differences: All Aqueen are females
Habitat: Deep in the ocean
Egg Groups: Fairy/Invertebrate

Last Edited By: Apricot0194 Aug 3 10 5:02 AM. Edited 19 times.

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elementalpenguin

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Posts: 2712

Jul 1 10 11:37 AM

Pokémon Factory Worker

She needs an appearance change. A girl with sea-themed clothes is not a pokemon. Also, her movelist is unbalanced - Hydro Punp at 4 and Focus Punch at 8?

RPG
Crys: Chrysice lvl 10, female
Powder Snow
Supersonic

Harden

Sargon: Nidoran Male, lvl 8
Leer
Peck

PARTNERS: Xer0 (Romulus)

Apricot0194

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Suggestions Board Regular

Posts: 57

Jul 1 10 11:56 AM

Oops.......
Start- Water Gun
Start- Protect
Start- Bubble
Level 4- Bubble Beam
Level 8- Focus Punch
Level 16- Hydro Pump
Level 20- Rain Dance
Level 26- Gyro Ball
Level 34- Aqua Tail
Level 40- Waterfall

I'm not sure what to add/change her appearance

Rayquaza101

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Suggestions Board Regular

Posts: 280

Jul 1 10 11:59 AM

I agree with EP. Maybe an Angel Fish Design?

Say hi! Its my trio!!

Apricot0194

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Suggestions Board Regular

Posts: 57

Jul 1 10 12:07 PM

Oooo an angel fish theme sounds nice, I'm working on the appearance

Apricot0194

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Suggestions Board Regular

Posts: 57

Jul 1 10 12:32 PM

Is this a little better?

I gave her coral-like hair, and I based her dress on angel fish colors. I also changed her eyes, but I think they look a little too alien... what do you think?

Darkwolf Cor

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Posts: 476

Jul 1 10 12:38 PM

Pokémon Factory Worker

It still looks way too much like a human girl to be a Pokémon. If you look at some humanoid Pokémon like Mr. Mime, Jynx or Gardevoir, you'll notice that while they have a basically humanoid structure, their appearance and features confirm that they are definitely not human. In cases where the Pokémon seem to be wearing clothing (such as Gardevoir's "dress"), it's actually parts of their body designed to look like clothing. In Aqueen's case, she still looks like a human girl with clothes.

Apricot0194

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Suggestions Board Regular

Posts: 57

Jul 1 10 12:48 PM

Now she appears to be more fish-like, with her sleeves and skirt as her flippers and tail-fin

Can my Pokemon be accepted?

Last Edited By: Apricot0194 Jul 1 10 1:56 PM. Edited 1 times.

Jigglyclops

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Posts: 1261

Jul 1 10 1:59 PM

Suggestions Board Regular

How about making her hair look like coral?

Last Edited By: Jigglyclops Jul 1 10 2:01 PM. Edited 1 times.

Apricot0194

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Posts: 57

Jul 1 10 2:03 PM

Umm.... that's sort of what I tried to do, I'm not that good on MS Paint

Last Edited By: Apricot0194 Jul 1 10 2:08 PM. Edited 2 times.

Darkwolf Cor

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Posts: 476

Jul 1 10 2:18 PM

Pokémon Factory Worker

Now it just looks like a mermaid, really.

I think it might be a better idea to re-work this from the ground up, basing the design off of an animal as opposed to a human.

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elementalpenguin

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Posts: 2712

Jul 1 10 2:29 PM

Pokémon Factory Worker

Darkwolf Cor wrote:
Now it just looks like a mermaid, really.

I think it might be a better idea to re-work this from the ground up, basing the design off of an animal as opposed to a human.

Yes. I agree entirely.

RPG
Crys: Chrysice lvl 10, female
Powder Snow
Supersonic

Harden

Sargon: Nidoran Male, lvl 8
Leer
Peck

PARTNERS: Xer0 (Romulus)

Apricot0194

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Suggestions Board Regular

Posts: 57

Jul 1 10 2:53 PM

Now that you mention it, it does...
But something came to my mind, Aqueen is born of the ocean/water, so why not have her made of water?

Do you know how ghosts have a ghostly-tail instead of feet? Why not Aqueen have a water-like tail (or body)?

Last Edited By: Apricot0194 Jul 1 10 3:45 PM. Edited 1 times.

Rayquaza101

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Posts: 280

Jul 1 10 5:06 PM

Nice idea! Why not give it a small crown on its head? Makes it look royal; like an actual queen.

Say hi! Its my trio!!

SoR

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Posts: 299

Jul 1 10 5:12 PM

It still looks like a human girl to me. Also, absolute control of water seems too legendary to me. Tone that down a bit.

Apricot0194

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Posts: 57

Jul 1 10 6:41 PM

Alright maybe not control over oceans... but I can still use the Cause of Floods idea right?

And Rayquaza101, like this?

And I'm changing the Pokedex entry:
Born from pure water, Aqueen have the ability to cause floods. They also have the ability to change their appearance and walk among people.

Last Edited By: Apricot0194 Jul 1 10 6:49 PM. Edited 2 times.

SoR

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Suggestions Board Regular

Posts: 299

Jul 1 10 7:22 PM

The pokedex needs to have 2 entries that are both between 85 and 100 characters (spaces included). They should both be able to stand alone.

Also, I don't mean to be harsh, but that picture is really bad as a concept. It needs to be different from a human girl with no legs and frilly hair. Change the face color and size and you might be getting somewhere that makes it less human.

Apricot0194

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Suggestions Board Regular

Posts: 57

Jul 1 10 7:52 PM

Alright: Born from pure water, Aqueen are specially known to have the ability to cause floods and heavy rains. They also have the ability to change their appearance and walk among people, sometimes pretending they are one.
...
Her hair is supposed to be made out of coral, it just didn't turn out so well on paint...
How about now? Her hair is made of coral, and her body is pure water.
Oh yeah and her height is now 4 feet and she's 50 pounds (...still not too good at the height/weight thing =P)

Last Edited By: Apricot0194 Jul 1 10 8:02 PM. Edited 4 times.

Flarsable

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Posts: 8827

Jul 1 10 9:49 PM

The first one is one character too long, and the second one can't start with "They also" in it, because an also means you have to have a first, which a standalone can't have. It's also 11 characters too long.

Award for Extreme Patience
Always hotter than the competition. I got the award for Braving the Marquee of Doom!

Apricot0194

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Suggestions Board Regular

Posts: 57

Jul 2 10 6:12 AM

Born from pure water, Aqueen are known to have the ability to cause floods and heavy rains.
There have been reported sightings of Aqueen changing their appearances to walk among people.
---

I used an online Character Count thing to make sure they were both between 85 and 100 characters long, the first entry is 91, and the second entry is 93.

Rayquaza101

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Suggestions Board Regular

Posts: 280

Jul 2 10 6:20 AM

Apricot0194 wrote:

And Rayquaza101, like this?

Yeah. Thats it. Good Job!

Say hi! Its my trio!!

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