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The Random Topic 2!?! [Topic of the Day: School]

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empireomega

The Random Topic 2!?! [Topic of the Day: School]

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Posts: 1682

Feb 24 10 5:21 PM

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A SEQUEL?!? Oh, Jesus Christ, NO...

Don't worry, this one's a bit more sane. Basically, every three days, give or take, there will be a new topic that your retarded comedy will be based around. It'th thimple enough.

I'll start with Hospitals:

Patient: "Doctor! Doctor! I'm turning into a deck of cards!"

Doctor: "Well, let's hope nothing developes...wait, wait, that's the wrong pun; let me check the joke book again..."

EDIT: If you ever want to request a Topic of the Day, PM me and I'll get to it.

Last Edited By: empireomega Mar 5 10 12:03 PM. Edited 2 times.

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Flarsable

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Feb 24 10 5:59 PM

Other Doctor: Wait, when you sya "Deck of cards" do you mean the 52 card deck or Dekkacards, which when put on a prefix scale becomes ten cards?

Award for Extreme Patience
Always hotter than the competition. I got the award for Braving the Marquee of Doom!

ZeldaFan

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Posts: 922

Feb 25 10 6:42 PM

First doctor: Oh, I see! You're too tents! Dang, wrong joke again...

Follow Superbeedrill to my party!
--->

<---

82% of Pokemon Factory users think Dialga is better
than Palkia. If you are part of the 18% of users who
know Palkia is better than Dialga, please copy-paste
this to your signature.

<My birthday. Zigzagoon. Wait...What's this?

PielordDx

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Feb 28 10 8:09 PM

*Stab!*
Docter: Feel better yet?
Patient:*cough* no...
*Stab!*
Docter: Feel better yet?
Patient:*cough* no...
*Stab!*
Docter: Feel better yet?
Patient:*cough* no...
*Stab!*
Docter: Feel better yet?
Patient:...... *Death*.....

Flarsable

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Posts: 8827

Feb 28 10 8:11 PM

Doctor 1: YOU KILLED HER?! Well, i guess everyone runs out of extra lives sometime... hey wait a second, we don't get extra lives. Only Mario & Sonic characters can do that.

Award for Extreme Patience
Always hotter than the competition. I got the award for Braving the Marquee of Doom!

PielordDx

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Suggestions Board Regular

Posts: 1437

Feb 28 10 8:16 PM

Docter 2: Boo- frickin -ding.

Flarsable

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Posts: 8827

Feb 28 10 8:23 PM

Doctor 1: What? I can't seem to find a joke for that. Hmm... let's see here... Chapter 5: If you are under the age of teenager, look away now; Part 1: Yo mama's so fat:
Yo mama so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up
Yo mama so fat her nickname is "Lardo"
Yo mama so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.
Yo mama so fat we're in her right now
Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise
Yo mama so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone
Yo mama so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors
Yo mama so fat you have to roll over twice to get off her...
Yo mama so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for then new world
Yo mama so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy
Yo mama so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop!
Yo mama so fat when she has wants someone to shake her hand, she has to give directions!
Yo mama so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"
Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!"
Yo mama so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized
Yo mama so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway
Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller
Yo mama so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets
Yo mama so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th
Yo mama so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too
Yo mama so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"
Yo mama so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!
Yo mama so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"
Yo mama so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.
Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it.
Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.
Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock.
Yo mama so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs!
Yo mama so fat she's got her own area code!
Yo mama so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon!
Yo mama so fat God couldn't light Earth until she moved!
Yo mama so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!
Yo mama so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!
Yo mama so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago...
Yo mama so fat she's got Amtrak written on her leg.
Yo mama so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!
Yo mama so fat her legs is like spoiled milk - white & chunky!
Yo mama so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the her good side!
Yo mama so fat she wakes up in sections!
Yo mama so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!
Yo mama so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of george washington's nose.
Yo mama so fat she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar!
Yo mama so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!
Yo mama so fat when she bunje jumps she goes straight to hell!
Yo mama so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!!
Yo mama so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book!
Yo mama so fat that her senior pictures had to be arial views!
Yo mama so fat she's on both sides of the family!
Yo mama so fat everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!
Yo mama so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!
Yo mama so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in!
Yo mama so fat even her clothes have stretch marks!
Yo mama so fat she has a wooden leg with a kickstand!
Yo mama so fat she has to use a VCR as a beeper!
Yo mama so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out!
Yo mama so fat when she rides in a hot air balloon, it looks like she's wearin tights!
Yo mama so fat she got hit by a parked car!
Yo mama so fat they have to grease the bath tub to get her out!
Yo mama so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans!
Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.
Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat people say "Taxi!"
Yo mama so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway!
Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller!
Yo mama so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave she landed on 12th
Yo mama so fat when she bungee jumps she pulls down the bridge too
Yo mama so fat she steps on a scale & it goes one at a time please
Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it!
Yo mama so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck!
Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it.
Yo mama so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.
Yo mama so fat they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping
Yo mama so fat when they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping, they hit the ground.
Yo mama so fat when she back up she beep.
Yo mama so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck.
Yo mama so fat she has to buy two airline tickets.
Yo mama so fat when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.
Yo mama so fat she influences the tides.
Yo mama so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.
Yo mama so fat she broke her leg and gravy fell out.
Yo mama so fat the animals at the zoo feed her.
Yo mama so fat she was baptized at Marine World.
Yo mama so fat she's on both sides of the family!
Yo mama so fat when she dances at a concert the whole band skips.
Yo mama so fat the Aids quilt wouldn't cover her
Yo mama so fat she stands in two time zones.
Yo mama so fat I tried to drive around her and I ran out of gas.
Yo mama so fat she left the house in high heels and when she came back she had on flip flops.
Yo mama so fat shes on both sides of the family
Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through
Yo mama so fat when she goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.
Yo mama so fat that she cant tie her own shoes.
Yo mama so fat sets off car alarms when she runs.
Yo mama so fat she can't reach her back pocket.
Yo mama so fat when she wears one of those X jackets, helicopters try to land on her back!
Yo mama so fat her college graduation picture was an aerial.
Yo mama so fat she lays on the beach and Greenpeace tried to push her back in the water
Yo mama so fat she broke her leg and gravy poured out
Yo mama so fat she uses redwoods to pick her teeth
Yo mama so fat the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures
Yo mama so fat she jumped in the air and got stuck.
Yo mama so fat she put on some BVD's and by the time they reached her waist they spelled out boulevard.
Yo mama so fat she sat on a dollar and squeezed a booger out George Washington's nose.
Yo mama so fat she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles.
Yo mama so fat she uses a mattress for a tampon.
Yo mama so fat that when she sits on the beach, Greenpeace shows up and tries to tow her back into the ocean.....
Yo mama so fat that she would have been in E.T., but when she rode the bike across the moon, she caused an eclipse.
Yo mama so fat she hoola-hooped the super bowl.
Yo mama so fat she was baptized in the ocean.
Yo mama so fat she has to iron her clothes in the driveway.
Yo mama so fat they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.
Yo mama so fat when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?"
Yo mama so fat when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow!
Yo mama so fat that when she was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.
Yo mama so fat we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet.

Award for Extreme Patience
Always hotter than the competition. I got the award for Braving the Marquee of Doom!

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PielordDx

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Posts: 1437

Mar 1 10 8:50 PM

Ninjas! Pirates! Ninjas!! Pirates!! Ninj- ROBOTS!

trogdor tamer

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Mar 2 10 4:10 PM

Suggestions Board Regular

Yes

I tame the burninators.

Here's how the Slakoth line really goes through evolution:

Slakoth drinks a Red Bull, causing it to get hyper and evolve into Vigoroth.
The caffeine rush ends, causing Vigoroth to evolve into Slaking.

empireomega

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Posts: 1682

Mar 5 10 12:04 PM

True story below.

Retarded kid: Should I put my name on this paper now?

Substitute teacher (sarcastically): No, put someone else's name on it.

Flarsable

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Posts: 8827

Mar 5 10 2:55 PM

Kid: Okay!

Award for Extreme Patience
Always hotter than the competition. I got the award for Braving the Marquee of Doom!

PielordDx

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Suggestions Board Regular

Posts: 1437

Mar 7 10 7:15 PM

Kid with Rofl shirt: I says wut?
Teacher: I no amrite?
Both: lolololololol
Retarded kid: ?

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The Random Topic 2!?! [Topic of the Day: School]

The Random Topic 2!?! [Topic of the Day: School]