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I can help you with that Dr Nog.

Hazzamon's conversation tutorial

Okay, first off, typing a conversation is easy real easy. As long as you don't use alot of 'saids', you shall be fine.
Okay let's start with the basics --setting.

Your prologue was good but in the first chapter, you need to explain the setting. Basically type it as though you were explaining it to someone. Experiment and then fool around with the sentences to make them flow better.

Okay, speech. I've taken yours and I'm not really a fan of L4D, so you'll have to forgive me for mistakes.

Everything was black, pure black. I could see nothing. I let out a groan just as someone called out. "Hey kid, you okay?"

I managed to wrentch open my eyes to see a midlle age man wearing an old baseball uniform complete with a cap. It was grubby and too tight on him. The man himself was middle aged and had rather puggy cheeks. His hair was graying and he looked far too old then what he actually was.

"The name's Coach," he said gruffly. "This is Ellis." He gestured to the teenager standing beside him. He had died black hair and wore worn jeans and a tanktop. "And beside him is Rochelle."

The girl, whom had long blonde hair, pale skin and bright blues eyes and who was wearing what could be assumed as clubbing clothes, nodded her head at me. "Nice to see another person alive."

Alice, what was she talking about. Anoher teenager, slightly younger with brownisg coloured hair and tanned skin stepped out from behind Coach. "I'm Nick, what's your name?"

"Nathen," I answered. "What's going on here?"

"Not sure," grunted Coach. "But there are all these zombies running around and we're trying to defend ourselves. You're lucky that we found you."

"So you wanna help us or what?" Rochelle suddenly demanded. Me fight off zombies? You gotta be kidding me.

But then again, what choice did I have? I could run or fight.

What do I choose?

It's a bit short for a chapter but nethertheless, still good. Give me a yell if you want more help