Yep! No pattern, no limits, just post something FUNNY! Not randomness, though. We need jokes, not "OMG I LIKE PIE DUUUUUUUUUUUHRRRR..."
*looks at Bored People CLICK HERE* nope!
Shall I commence? Oh, And I didn't write this
15 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART
1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone," 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
10. Dart around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"
12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.."NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"
14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
15.Grap a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go"
WAYS TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it 'In.'
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their coffee addictions, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, write 'For smuggling diamonds.'
7. Finish all your scentences with 'In accordance with the prophecy.'
8. Don't use any punctuation.
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is 'To go.'
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask 'Why don't the poems rhyme?'
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
16. Have your co-workers address your by your wrestling name.
17. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream 'I won!! I won!!'
18. When leaving the zoo, starting running towards the parking lot yelling 'Run for your lives, they're loose!'
19. Tell your children (or someone) over dinner, 'Due to the economy, we're going to have to let one of you go.'
Fun things to do on an elevator: Try them today, kids!
1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18) DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22)WHEN you get inside jump on everyone there.
*looks at Bored People CLICK HERE* nope!
Shall I commence? Oh, And I didn't write this
15 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART
1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone," 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
10. Dart around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"
12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.."NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"
14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
15.Grap a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go"
WAYS TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it 'In.'
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their coffee addictions, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, write 'For smuggling diamonds.'
7. Finish all your scentences with 'In accordance with the prophecy.'
8. Don't use any punctuation.
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is 'To go.'
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask 'Why don't the poems rhyme?'
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
16. Have your co-workers address your by your wrestling name.
17. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream 'I won!! I won!!'
18. When leaving the zoo, starting running towards the parking lot yelling 'Run for your lives, they're loose!'
19. Tell your children (or someone) over dinner, 'Due to the economy, we're going to have to let one of you go.'
Fun things to do on an elevator: Try them today, kids!
1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18) DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22)WHEN you get inside jump on everyone there.
